Saturday July 12th, 2008 / 1 response

Man who abducted and raped two grown-ass men has a huge penis, we swear

There's one detail that sticks out about the otherwise boring tale of Edward Lanphear. It's not that he picks up young drunk men at local bars, tells them he's a cop then knocks them out with his flashlight, handcuffs them, cuts their clothes off with a knife, chains them to Saw-inspired death contraptions in his basement, beats them like his own personal bondage buddies or sexually assaults them over and over and over again with his sweaty, leather-clad, acne-covered hair-ball of a body.

That stuff's all run-of-the-mill horny psycho behavior and is hardly worth mentioning. But then we read this...

"The 23-year-old (victim) told investigators Lanphear put what felt like a shotgun to his face at one point."

Now, there's no proof that what we're about to say is true - it could all be wishful thinking - and there was a shotgun at the scene pointed at one of the victim's heads...

But we'd prefer think that Edward Lanphear's dick is just that long and hard.

Sources: MSNBC

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